Lifes Rule Book
“Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.”
Do you know how great it would be if there was a "play book" to guide you through all of life's intimate situations. Something that was easy to read and gave you step by step instructions on how to handle different circumstances. If you followed them to a tee then you would already know what the outcome would be. You wouldn't have to worry about saying the wrong things and looking like a complete idiot....in front of your boss, your friends or the person you have been crushing on for the last few months.
I don't know about you....but I could use a book. Yesterday, I was told that I seem like an aggressive person, this comment definitely threw me for a loop and I have been thinking about it ever since....how often do I really go for what I want? I am constantly coming out of situations thinking..."I should have done this"....or "it was the perfect opportunity to bring that up".... but then the moment comes and goes...I analyze it to much and I miss my chance. I realize lately my missed opportunities are because I have a fear of intimacy - and by intimacy, I mean the feeling of closeness, familiarity, and understanding ... when there are no boundaries, no walls. You say everything that you mean...everything that is on your mind. (Scary huh)
How many times have I bit my tongue for fear of stepping on someone else's toes? How many times have I held back my opinion because I was afraid that others would judge me? And my personal favorite... how many times have I held in my true feelings for someone because I wasn't sure how they would react and I wasn't sure of what would happen afterwards? How do you know when you have crossed the line and said to much? I don't know about you but I constantly struggle with this. In the last week I have been in a few situations that were "missed" opportunities...I could have easily said something or asked a question but instead I ran from the situation and avoided it like the plague because I was afraid. I find myself trying to avoid any and all awkwardness and stick with the comfortable conversations. Allowing yourself to open up to other people is hard...putting everything out there on the line in any situation is difficult becuse intimacy is both desired, and feared. It is difficult to live with, and impossible to live without.
"I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of guide to tell you when you've crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming. You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself." - Meredith Grey
Do you know how great it would be if there was a "play book" to guide you through all of life's intimate situations. Something that was easy to read and gave you step by step instructions on how to handle different circumstances. If you followed them to a tee then you would already know what the outcome would be. You wouldn't have to worry about saying the wrong things and looking like a complete idiot....in front of your boss, your friends or the person you have been crushing on for the last few months.
I don't know about you....but I could use a book. Yesterday, I was told that I seem like an aggressive person, this comment definitely threw me for a loop and I have been thinking about it ever since....how often do I really go for what I want? I am constantly coming out of situations thinking..."I should have done this"....or "it was the perfect opportunity to bring that up".... but then the moment comes and goes...I analyze it to much and I miss my chance. I realize lately my missed opportunities are because I have a fear of intimacy - and by intimacy, I mean the feeling of closeness, familiarity, and understanding ... when there are no boundaries, no walls. You say everything that you mean...everything that is on your mind. (Scary huh)
How many times have I bit my tongue for fear of stepping on someone else's toes? How many times have I held back my opinion because I was afraid that others would judge me? And my personal favorite... how many times have I held in my true feelings for someone because I wasn't sure how they would react and I wasn't sure of what would happen afterwards? How do you know when you have crossed the line and said to much? I don't know about you but I constantly struggle with this. In the last week I have been in a few situations that were "missed" opportunities...I could have easily said something or asked a question but instead I ran from the situation and avoided it like the plague because I was afraid. I find myself trying to avoid any and all awkwardness and stick with the comfortable conversations. Allowing yourself to open up to other people is hard...putting everything out there on the line in any situation is difficult becuse intimacy is both desired, and feared. It is difficult to live with, and impossible to live without.
"I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of guide to tell you when you've crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming. You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself." - Meredith Grey
This entry was posted
on Saturday, November 8, 2008 at Saturday, November 08, 2008.
